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Motivate yourself with kindness


Motivate yourself with kindness


We have a tendency to try to motivate ourselves with unkind words, being hard on ourselves and pushing through. This is actually not a great way to motivate ourselves for change.


First step is to identify what you say to yourself to motivate yourself – for example- get off your butt, you are so lazy. I should not eat this I am already too fat. I should have pushed harder to get my way in that meeting, I am so weak. Take a moment to feel how this self-talk makes you feel. Make room for that.

Second step is to try to find a different voice, maybe one of a mentor, a teacher, a wise person. Someone who will encourage you to change your unproductive behaviour, but with support and kindness. What is the most supportive message that you can think of?

Third step is to identify your self-critical thoughts the next time you are using them to motivate yourself, and remember your supportive message.


Fear is not a good motivator, firm kindness is much better. Check out the article about changing habits.